For the profound wounds of life, there are no quick fixes.  There is no easy healing. We endure because God through His Spirit lends us strength. We make it through because Jesus promises to redeem and restore. And because friends remind us with their presence that God is near.

I've seen physical, mental and spiritual healing at every retreat.   Some moms have said they haven't slept this well since their child went to Heaven. One mom told me she never made the connection between her faith and grief until this weekend. Every mom has come away strengthened for the lifelong journey ahead of her and better equipped to share the light, love and life of Christ as a broken but beautiful vessel for the Lord.

We are rapidly approaching the one year mark of launching the official ministry of Heartache and Hope-a formal recognition of work I'd been doing among the bereaved and those who love them for nearly a decade and I wanted to give a brief update on how things are going.

I know Jesus is my Shepherd and I never doubt His companionship.  But if I’m honest, as much as I lean into that truth, it’s oh, so helpful to have a living, breathing human being walk with me. So when a friend reaches out and takes my trembling hand it calls courage to my heart. When we huddle together in the dark places, waiting out the storm of grief or doubt, it gives me strength to carry on. Never, never underestimate the power of presence.

Even though time plus doing the work grief requires better equips us to carry this load, the absolute weight of it never changes. Our fractured hearts never quite regain their pre-loss shape and life is forever altered because as long as we have breath, we will miss our child in Heaven. So having a designated month where it's socially acceptable to share about grief in general, our child in particular and whatever wisdom we've gained through hard experience is welcome r

I want to do better. I want to be the safe space hurting hearts need. I want to be full of grace and mercy and kindness. I know I fall short, but I’m still learning.

I know that when a friend or family member is hurting we long to make them feel better and we convince ourselves that words are necessary. But the very best comfort is compassionate presence and perceptive practical help.

The people who choose to stay and offer compassionate companionship are a vital part of healing after child loss.

In my most desperate days, C.S. Lewis held a lantern in the dark for my heart. I’m so grateful for his absolute honesty and bravery in revealing the angst, questions and pain of great loss. I continue to quote him as proof that it’s not “just me”. Even a titan of the faith, a man who gave an exquisite apology of Christianity, was as vulnerable as the next person to doubt.

My heart is that no one sitting in the darkness of child loss is left to think that darkness is all there is. I want to bring the light of hope to them wherever they are. You can help me do that.

I long to be a burden bearer for my friends and family because I know what it is to carry a burden. So I ask the hard questions.

 Bereaved moms can join me in a quiet setting for a weekend of rest, renewal and restoration through fellowship, Scripture and sharing.

Here are seven practical ways to minister to your grieving friends this Christmas.

Child loss is lonely. But you don’t have to be alone. An isolated heart is especially vulnerable to discouragement and despair.

May we all have Poohs and Piglets that come sit with us when we are Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around.