Most parents feel a little stressed during the holidays. For bereaved parents, the rush toward the “Season of Joy” is doubly frightening. Constant reminders that this is the “most wonderful time of the year” make our broken hearts just that much more out of place.  Who cares what you get for Christmas when the one thing your heart desires–your child, alive and whole–is unavailable… Here are some practical ways family and friends can help grieving parents during the holida

It IS frustrating AND exhausting.   But I am learning (slowly, very slowly!) that it is oh, so much better! Instead of energy spent on being wounded and trying to hide it, I’m learning to speak up, own the wounds and suggest ways to prevent them in the future.  

I've seen physical, mental and spiritual healing at every retreat.   Some moms have said they haven't slept this well since their child went to Heaven. One mom told me she never made the connection between her faith and grief until this weekend. Every mom has come away strengthened for the lifelong journey ahead of her and better equipped to share the light, love and life of Christ as a broken but beautiful vessel for the Lord.

We are rapidly approaching the one year mark of launching the official ministry of Heartache and Hope-a formal recognition of work I'd been doing among the bereaved and those who love them for nearly a decade and I wanted to give a brief update on how things are going.

Even though time plus doing the work grief requires better equips us to carry this load, the absolute weight of it never changes. Our fractured hearts never quite regain their pre-loss shape and life is forever altered because as long as we have breath, we will miss our child in Heaven. So having a designated month where it's socially acceptable to share about grief in general, our child in particular and whatever wisdom we've gained through hard experience is welcome r

I want to do better. I want to be the safe space hurting hearts need. I want to be full of grace and mercy and kindness. I know I fall short, but I’m still learning.

We say we want real. But we really don’t. We tune in by the millions to watch “reality TV” even though we know the drama is manufactured...

My heart is that no one sitting in the darkness of child loss is left to think that darkness is all there is. I want to bring the light of hope to them wherever they are. You can help me do that.

I’m learning to stand up and speak my truth even when others don’t understand it. None of us chose to be bereaved parents.

I long to be a burden bearer for my friends and family because I know what it is to carry a burden. So I ask the hard questions.

If you can, join us.  You may be nervous up to the very minute you show up or log on but I PROMISE you will not regret it. 

 Bereaved moms can join me in a quiet setting for a weekend of rest, renewal and restoration through fellowship, Scripture and sharing.

Why is it, when we need them most, many friends-and I mean really, truly FRIENDS-just can't hang in and hold on?

Since Dominic ran ahead to Heaven, I find I need even more alone time than before. But I take care that solitude doesn’t become isolation.

Do I have any control over whether or not this burden gets lighter?

I and several other seasoned bereaved parents will share a bit about how to navigate this difficult time of year.

Child loss is lonely. But you don’t have to be alone. An isolated heart is especially vulnerable to discouragement and despair.