I keep repeating the mantra, “grace and space” to myself. I need grace-from my own heart FOR my own heart– I must cut myself the slack I would be happy to extend to others. I need grace from friends and family. You can never know all the ways I ache for the life I had before Dominic ran ahead to heaven.  You could never imagine all the daily pinpricks my soul must suffer as I walk in this world and am reminded of what I’ve lost.

Dear mama, dear daddy, give yourself permission not to try to figure out what a parent’s heart was never meant to calculate-how to live without the earthly companionship of the child you love-and just breathe.   One day at a time. One moment at a time. One breath at a time.

I work hard to find something for which to be thankful each day. I try to get outside and breathe in the fresh air and soak up the sunshine. And when I have a rainy day-whether it is literally dripping water from the sky or simply dripping tears from my eyes-I try to do something that will help my heart hold on.

I still struggle to remember things that used to come easily. I still hear words that I don’t always understand. I depend much more on paper and pencil to keep track of important dates, appointments and phone numbers than I used to. And I never walk away from the stove.

I’m learning to stand up and speak my truth even when others don’t understand it. None of us chose to be bereaved parents.

Jealousy is a green-eyed monster and I want no part of it. I have to focus on the gift and not the loss.  I can't always do that.

It’s different for every heart. But each of us who know child loss have a season of sorrow. It’s more than “just” the day our child left.

If you can, join us.  You may be nervous up to the very minute you show up or log on but I PROMISE you will not regret it. 

It is neither helpful nor healthy to pretend that sorrow and sadness don’t follow loss.  

A pastor friend says, “Your misery is your ministry.” I think he’s right.

Why is it, when we need them most, many friends-and I mean really, truly FRIENDS-just can't hang in and hold on?

It's normal that Dominic is less and less a part of his friends lives over time. But it still hurts...

Oh how I love you! Your brother’s untimely departure has opened my heart in a whole new way to the glory that is your presence.

I don't have to meet a timetable or get anyone's approval. It's my journey and baby steps count!

Parents look forward to marking milestones in their child's life. They never plan to have to mark the milestone of their death.

Marriage is hard work under the best of circumstances. Child loss makes it harder. But there are ways to create space and to extend grace.

In the aftermath of child loss, healthy boundaries are no longer optional, they are necessary for survival.  

Child loss is often sibling loss. In addition to their own heartache, bereaved parents carry the heartache of their surviving children.

I am learning to take anxious thoughts captive, learning to make them live in only a corner of my mind instead of taking it over completely.

Do I have any control over whether or not this burden gets lighter?