For all my talk of boundaries and self-compassion, I rarely manage to keep others from invading my personal space and time I (theoretically) have reserved for my own priorities. I beat myself up for not showing up or giving up or giving in when someone calls, texts or messages. I rush to fill others' buckets without recognizing my own is empty.

Dear mama, dear daddy, give yourself permission not to try to figure out what a parent’s heart was never meant to calculate-how to live without the earthly companionship of the child you love-and just breathe.   One day at a time. One moment at a time. One breath at a time.

I work hard to find something for which to be thankful each day. I try to get outside and breathe in the fresh air and soak up the sunshine. And when I have a rainy day-whether it is literally dripping water from the sky or simply dripping tears from my eyes-I try to do something that will help my heart hold on.

I first shared this eight years ago so it may shock some folks that while I have finally tossed most of the things in my fridge that once belonged to Dominic, I’ve got a giant bottle of hot sauce I’m still using. Every time I add spicy flavor to chili I think of him. I’m not looking forward to the day it runs out because it will be one more link dissolved between the living son I knew in the flesh and the memories I have to settle for now.❤

Ninety miles an hour-that’s how fast my mind can go from here to there. From what’s in front of me to what’s behind me. From laughter to swallowing sobs.

I want my heart and my words to reflect that I know this Savior full of love and mercy. Spared or not, it’s no doing of mine.

I’m learning to stand up and speak my truth even when others don’t understand it. None of us chose to be bereaved parents.

Jealousy is a green-eyed monster and I want no part of it. I have to focus on the gift and not the loss.  I can't always do that.

that’s what child loss does to a mama’s heart.  It shatters it into pieces so tiny and so fragile. And the pieces never make a whole.

It’s different for every heart. But each of us who know child loss have a season of sorrow. It’s more than “just” the day our child left.

If you can, join us.  You may be nervous up to the very minute you show up or log on but I PROMISE you will not regret it. 

My son is not a number or a statistic or only a memory. He is integral to my story, blood of my blood –part of my life.

I don't have to meet a timetable or get anyone's approval. It's my journey and baby steps count!

Marriage is hard work under the best of circumstances. Child loss makes it harder. But there are ways to create space and to extend grace.

I am learning to take anxious thoughts captive, learning to make them live in only a corner of my mind instead of taking it over completely.

Do I have any control over whether or not this burden gets lighter?

I and several other seasoned bereaved parents will share a bit about how to navigate this difficult time of year.

I’m learning to let go of offense. Not only because it is too heavy to carry in addition to my grief, but because the Lord commanded it.

When taking care of others means NOT taking care of myself, then in the end, I’m of no use to anyone

Child loss is hard. Child loss is not "curable" or "solvable" and it's not helpful to pretend it is.