Because child loss is so devastating and painful, it’s easy to believe the only logical reason for this agony is that it’s punishment. It took me awhile to allow the Holy Spirit to lead me into the truth that it is not. All the punishment for sin was borne by Jesus.

One of the greatest challenges I faced this side of child loss was finding a space where I could speak honestly and openly about my feelings toward God and about my faith. So many times I was shut down at the point of transparency by someone shooting off a Bible verse or hymn chorus or just a chipper, “God’s in control!” They had NO IDEA how believing that (and I do!) God is in control was both comforting and utterly devastating at the very same time.

I no longer feel betrayed.   I still don’t like this life. I would never have chosen this life.   But I will trust the One Who made me to carry me through it.

We enter this world when we leave our mother’s womb. That is the beginning. But our lives never end.  We are eternal beings, created in the image of God, destined to spend forever with Him-IF we receive the gift of redemption made possible by the blood of Christ Jesus.

One of the most devastating questions I had to face after Dominic ran ahead to heaven was, “What difference does prayer make?”   I had prayed-diligently prayed-for every one of my children since before they were born. Even Dominic’s name, which means “belonging to God” was chosen carefully to reflect my heart’s desire that this child follow hard after Jesus. So why didn’t prayer “work”?  Why did my son die in an accident when others live?

I'm so thankful that when the darkness is all I can see, the Lord brings people (and His own precious Presence) to remind me that light still exists.