There are so many ways child loss impacts relationships! And every. single. relationship. gets more complicated.   When your heart is shattered, there are lots of sharp edges that end up cutting you and everyone around you.  It’s pretty much inevitable that one or more relationships will need mending at some point..

While I certainly had no real idea in the first hours or even weeks what losing a child entailed, I understood plainly that it meant I would not have Dominic to see, hold or talk to. I wouldn’t be able to hug his neck or telephone him.   He wouldn’t be sitting at my table any more. But the death of a child or other loved one has a ripple effect.  It impacts parts of life you might not expect.  As time went on, I was introduced to a whole list of losses commonly calle

What objective criteria can be applied to every situation, every person, every death to determine whether someone is truly stuck in grief?  How do you take into account the circumstances of a death, the relationship of the bereaved to the deceased, trauma surrounding the event or any of a dozen other things that influence how long and how deeply one grieves a loss? Obviously there are certain signs that someone needs professional help. For the rest of us, “normal" grief c

For all my talk of boundaries and self-compassion, I rarely manage to keep others from invading my personal space and time I (theoretically) have reserved for my own priorities. I beat myself up for not showing up or giving up or giving in when someone calls, texts or messages. I rush to fill others' buckets without recognizing my own is empty.

Grief is SO MUCH MORE than sadness and missing. It is a tangled ball of emotions.

I long to be a burden bearer for my friends and family because I know what it is to carry a burden. So I ask the hard questions.

The longer since his leaving, the more I feel I need to have it together in public. My tears are inexplicable to those who've forgotten,

There is no "right way" or "wrong way" to handle holidays after losing a child. For many, there is only survival.

Change is hard on everyone. But it's harder if you don't have important conversations.

It's normal that Dominic is less and less a part of his friends lives over time. But it still hurts...

Since Dominic ran ahead to Heaven, I find I need even more alone time than before. But I take care that solitude doesn’t become isolation.

In the aftermath of child loss, healthy boundaries are no longer optional, they are necessary for survival.  

I am learning to take anxious thoughts captive, learning to make them live in only a corner of my mind instead of taking it over completely.

Shame tells us we are unworthy of love and belonging and that is simply a lie.